My husband & I have been married for 4 years, 10 months, & 24 days. Honestly, it hardly feels like it’s even been that long. Since we’ve been married we have pretty much always operated on opposite schedules. As anyone that is married knows, marriage isn’t always rainbows and butterflies. It’s hard, challenging, & a major growth process if you allow it to be.
In the first few years of our marriage I was dealing with some of my own personal issues- transitioning into a new job, lack of confidence, anxiety, depression, & anger. My husband was generous and patient with me through it. I honestly believe that God used him as a way to demonstrate the true grace, mercy, & love of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. While I was going through a difficult time at work, he saw I was stressed and began getting up in the morning with me (despite being on opposite schedules) to make coffee, breakfast, & read the Bible with me. Even with that, I was not very grateful towards him…I was honestly a big, fat, jerkface. He continued his demonstrations of love & kindness despite me. Over time, I began to realize David’s actions were a reflection of the love of Christ. I didn’t deserve David’s love but he gave it anyways because he loves me, I could choose to accept or ignore it- accepting it was much more pleasant. I don’t deserve (and never can) Christ’s love & sacrifice for me but He died on the cross & rose again for me anyways because He loves me (& you!).
Over the past 2 years, David & I have continued to go through changes. We bought a building for our business, Grace Ballroom, we had to oversee financial decisions, renovation decisions, & more. There was a lot of stress. God was using all of it to change my heart. Even though I was continuing to grow in love & respect for my husband, things still weren’t all rainbows & butterflies. I was still sometimes sarcastic, disrespectful, & nagging in my interactions with my husband. It truly began to bother me, then I asked myself one question that revolutionized the way I think about myself, my actions, & the way I treat my husband & others around me:
How would I feel if he treated me the way I am treating him?
When I asked that question, it wasn’t just one time. I began to immediately think of that question in every situation I worked in with him. Things began to become more smooth. I adjusted the way I spoke to him or made requests. I tried to be more polite, considerate, & apologetic when I messed up, because those are things I would want him to be to me. We still have our disagreements, I still mess up, we still push (not physically- but motivationally) & challenge each other. We don’t always agree, we don’t always immediately give in to each others’ requests, but with our hearts and minds focused on Christ & focused on ensuring we treat each other how we, ourselves, would want to be treated, things are beginning to function so much better.
Despite all our issues & how difficult it can be to fall in sync with the people around us, it is worth it. It forces us to think beyond ourselves, desires, & needs, to consider others. Growth is painful, but it is so worth it in the end.
Another great way to challenge yourself & measure your love…take 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 & put your name in the place of the word “Love” then ask yourself, “Am I really this?…This is how I want to be treated, so am I acting this way towards others?” It’s hard, but it’s worth it.
“4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
I am so grateful God is growing & changing our marriage. I’m sad that sometimes it takes difficulties & pain, but a lot of times that is only the case when I remain stubborn against what God wants for my life & our marriage. I am so thankful for the incredible man God has put in my life & I look forward to living the rest of this life adventure together- until we’re old, saggy, farts, still flirting, loving, & grossing everyone else out. 😉 #GoTeamGeiger